Word Play
by death-in-the-orchard
Summary: Alucard, Anderson, Seras, Yumie, and Henkel must wait for a meeting between the Iscariot and Hellsing to end while being confined to a room...together...what happens when Seras cracks under pressing boredom?


"AAARRRGGGHHHH!"

The Iscariots jumped in their seats and Yumie secured her hand to her katana as Seras finished her agonized moan of boredom.

"How long is their meeting supposed to take?" she demanded, standing to stretch her legs and pace furiously about the small room. They had been waiting for Maxwell and Integra for over three hours at the moment, so Alucard didn't correct Seras' behavior as he sighed with the same feeling. "Fine!" she whipped around, almost appearing to be angry, and pointed at each individual in the room. "We'll play a game."

"What?" Henkel growled at the fledgling, but she went unnoticed.

"Say whatever comes to mind when you hear what I say. Like if I said red, you might say fire truck or something that pops up."

"That's stupid." The nun murmured, annoyed by Seras' commanding tone, but she too was extremely bored so she sighed in resignation when Seras turned to her and warned that the game would now begin. Anderson was staring out the window, glancing at the vampires occasionally, and now he listened to the game.

"Purple!" Seras exclaimed enthusiastically with an added giggle.

"Barney."

The room was silent and all eyes slowly gravitated to the nun who soon became crimson. "S…shut up!" She stammered and faced the wall before anyone had spoken. Yumie smiled while Seras burst out laughing. Anderson scoffed and returned to the window.

"You've been watching too many children shows with the orphans." Anderson said without looking at the nun.

Henkel mumbled but Seras was already moving on to her next victim. She smiled at Yumie and the Japanese nun glared at her under her bangs, as if daring the vampire to speak. The Police Girl grinned, oblivious of the threat.

"Apple!"

"Sauce."

Henkel snorted and laid out her arms on the armrests of her chair. "Apple sauce? The orphanage has really fused with our minds…"

"Better than Barney." Came a mutter and the cross dressing nun blushed with a scowl.

"What else is purple? I mean…really?"

"Noooooowwww!" Seras said dramatically and she spun on her heel with her hand stretched out before herself. She stopped suddenly and pointed at Alucard who gave her a dead stare. The Police Girl swallowed, suddenly nervous, but she straightened and cleared her throat. "It's Master's turn."

"Fine."

The fledgling paused, using all of the brain cells her little blonde head contained to think of a good word. It was a once in an undead lifetime chance to embarrass the No-Life-King…she couldn't afford to ruin it.

She turned bright red with anticipation and pointed at Alucard again. "Pink."

"Your sweater."

Seras gasped in dismay and looked down, remembering what she was wearing. She whined in misery. "Damn it! That's not fair! Can I ask something else, Master? That wasn't funny at all."

"Go ahead." The nosferatu sighed and his head was moved to his hand, leaning on the armrest. "Knock yourself out."

Seras blinked at the phrase, but shook her head and set to using her brain power once more. She clapped her hands with a giggle and smiled at the older vampire. "Sir Integra."

"Cigar."

There was a pause and Seras gave a dismal groan. "One more."

Alucard blinked but said nothing.

Seras opened her mouth as Henkel cut in, a vein throbbing in her head telling of her irritation and thinning patience. She pointed at Alucard who looked back at her without interest. "Fuzzy!"

"Bear."

There was dead silence before a roar of laughter came from the female occupants, even Yumie, and Anderson gave Alucard a questioning look. The vampire's eyes flicked to the paladin and he shrugged. "It satisfies them."

"Fuzzy wuzzy wuz a bear!" Seras shrieked, struggling to breathe and she doubled over at such an angle Alucard was waiting for her to fall on her face. "Perfect!" She gasped and wiped away a tear as she beamed at her Master. "Utterly perfect!"

"I'm done then?"

"Yes."

"Halleluiah." He muttered under his breath so that the Iscariots wouldn't hear him while his fledgling went bouncing around the room, ignorant of the remark. The red rim of his hat was brought over his face and two gloved hands came together on the vampire's knee as he settled back to relax in his chair.

"Father Anderson." Seras smiled at the paladin and Anderson growled at her menacingly. She flinched but kept her smile and pointed at him. Then she brought her hand to her chin as she crossed her arms in thought. "This is a hard one too…what should I say?"

"Decapitated vampire." The priest stated bluntly and Seras glared at him.

"I didn't say the word yet!"

"Impaled vampire."

"Let me say it first! Now!" she stepped back and pointed at him with a scowl. "Puppy!"

"Alucard."

There was a pause and the red rim of the vampire's hat was pulled back so that a crimson eye could stare at the priest. "Puppy? And you picture me?" Anderson started, realizing what had happened and he snarled at the nosferatu.

"Demon spawn…." Anderson started again and then gazed at Seras with disturbance as she fell to the ground, rolling with laughter.

The door suddenly opened and Integra and Maxwell watched the strange behavior along with the disgusted Iscariots as they stood and retreated from the girl. Alucard was frowning in thought and did not move from his chair.

"What is going on here?" Integra Hellsing demanded, grimacing as Seras howled with laughter and then gasped in order to answer.

"I said…puppy! And…and he said…!" she started laughing again and rolled onto her stomach so no one could she how red her face was.

"Is she mad?" Maxwell frowned at the girl beside Integra and looked for an explanation from Anderson. He blinked at the slight color on the priest's cheeks. "Wait…is she, by chance, talking about …you? Anderson?"

Integra turned around and looked at Anderson as well before she sought Alucard who smirked at her.

"We were playing a game. One in which someone says a word and another must say whatever comes to mind."

Maxwell and Integra nodded in unison, familiar with the game.

Alucard gestured towards the quieting vampire. "The Police Girl was the one saying the word, and Father Anderson's turn had come, so she said 'Puppy' and his response…caused the uproar."

"What did he say?" Integra narrowed her eyes at the absurdity of the conversation, but she was somewhat curious now, as movement told her Anderson had started walking towards the door.

"Well…" Alucard smiled, watching the paladin leave. "The Police Girl said 'Puppy' and our dear priest replied 'Alucard'."

Integra suddenly made a disturbing choking sound while Maxwell gave a hacking cough and both turned to see Anderson open the door.

"Wait." Maxwell was a little pale while he went to Anderson as the priest followed the order with a scowl. "How…? Really…?" he struggled to speak and shook his head "Can you even explain what was going through your mind?"

"We were waiting in the room for over three hours. It's your fault." The priest growled without turning to face Maxwell or the rest of the room.

"What?" the white haired man stopped beside the paladin and blinked several times. "Excuse me? I…"

"Being stuck in here with him and not being allowed to kill him was why the vampire was on my mind at the moment."

The door slammed violently and those left in the room stared at it, not knowing how they should respond to these recent events.


End file.
